Growing

"You are a sponge"

This is something I actually thought to myself yesterday and I thought that it was really profound (also a little dumb and clique but still!)

Yesterday I was observing a music therapist at a children's hospital, which is a population I previously had not had any experience with, observing or otherwise. Most of my experience has come from special needs and geriatric care, which typically means their care is long-term and ongoing. The nature of a hospital is very different, and patients will probably only see the music therapist once. Because of this, I was observing techniques in and out of sessions that are very different to what I've been previously exposed to.

That's when I thought and told myself "You are a sponge." Essentially, "You are being surrounded by information that is new. You are seeing things that are upsetting.You are internalizing ideas and techniques that can be used in the future. Absorb and process all of that."

As I had this moment yesterday, I was reminded of my job working with children with autism. This job is very hands on, is not like any other job I've had before, and I've been having to learn and use techniques of a theoretical framework that is familiar but not something I'm solid on.

AND, as I thought about how to put this into words today, I realized that's all I've been doing for almost two months. I moved to the town I live in now two months ago and since then I've had to settle in and adjust to the town, but also to myself. I've been a student for the past, I don't know, 18 years of my life? Summer ended and I wasn't going back to class. I moved to a new town and had to find a job and figure out what to do with my time when I'm not held to the time constraints of being in college. I've been learning about how I react to stress, how I deal having too much free time, with no free time, with anxiety, and with isolation.

Using the information I've learned from observing music therapists isn't something I can act on quite yet, but I do think the past few months and the ones to come are going to change me for the better in starting my internship and being a music therapist. All of that stuff is hard to put into words and I am still experiencing it so I don't really feel like I can/should talk about it yet. I can say though that I've learned some useful and valuable insight on my own self-care needs and routines, and have been validated in previous assumptions of my own functioning and happiness levels. More specifically, I need structure to feel productive and to fill my free time with enjoyable activities without feeling guilty. I think that's probably standard across the board though :)